Sunday, November 1, 2015

Watch this space

Here's my dilemma: No one reads my blog. But one of the reasons no one reads it is I never write anything. But that's because no one reads it. I dont believe if I posted more that my readership would go up. I don't seem to have "it" - bloganality.

I don't think I've ever tops 100 likes on a Facebook post - and that was probably an adorable pic of one of my kids. Plus, I don't have time to post. I need to find some sort of gainful employment.  Like now. But I hold onto my fantasy of a readership. Even with navel gazing posts like this one.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Will Work For Money and Benefits

I got fired from my job last month. I don't want to fire torpedoes on the way out but, well, I don't have a job, or job prospects, we don't have money and I couldn't be much happier to be gone from my last gig. It was a law firm that represents, among other similar clients,  Monsanto, Chevron and Koch Industries. It always made me feel good at night knowing that my fine work may have helped Charles Koch donate another $100 to the Scott Walker campaign. If you don't see anything wrong with that, have I got a dream job for you.

I'm in the lobby of the Department of Social Services.  I'm applying for public assistance.  I don't know if we'll need it and I doubt they'll even give it to me but expect a miracle but prepare for the worst.  There's about a 30 page application; there's at least 2 pages to find out if you're married with children.  Does a child live with you? Who is the mother? Is she a US citizen? Does the mother live with you? Are you 2 married? Is there a 2nd child in the house?  Etc.  There's no really philosophical way to play this off, this is not a great place to be.

I think I have a nicer phone than anyone here.   Quite a feather in my cap.  I've been waiting awhile and I'm running out of battery. I'm not sure how much longer I'll stay if I can't play Candy Crush.

My wife is against this venture. Besides the general humiliation factor, she thinks I could make better use this time to, say, find a job. But I could look for a job on my phone - if I had more battery and I wasn't playing Candy Crush.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Well, that was relatively painless.  I didn't get the impression we're going to qualify  So I guess I better find some work.

Odd bit of business - outside the Social Services there were not one, not two, but three card tables set up giving away phones and selling phone service.  I don't know the scam but I'm thinking - is that really a coup?  Setting up your business outside THE WELFARE OFFICE?

POST SCRIPT

We were denied benefit.  CalFresh is the only place in the world where the amount you collect in Unemployment Benefits is considered too much money.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Don't Let the Digital Door Hit You

Dear Employer (present or prospective):

Actually, it's kind of creepy if you're reading this.

I mean, you're not my friend.  You're not an admirer.  There's nothing in these pages that you're going to be using as evidence of fine citizenship - I'm only going to be marked down for any perceived negative content - racism, sexism, anarchy, mental imbalance, ties to organized crime.  If you find out that I saved three puppies from drowning, walked around the globe on my one good leg and cured two diseases that had been vexing medical science, what are you going to report back to HR?

"We didn't find anything."

So do me a favor - with all the respect I can muster - please leave.  You have no business here.  You have a legal right to be here but, morally, you're on shifting sand.  You want to know something about me?  Just ask.  Instead of skulking around in electronic closets looking for skeletons.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Fold Like a Cheap Suit


How bad do I feel about myself today? Well, I can't decide if I feel like a LOSER or a FAILURE.

There are things going on at home that I don't care for and I'm back trying, unsuccessfully, to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

But that's not why I'm writing. Today I'm trying to figure out what belongs in a personal essay. What would make you sit on the edge of your seats and what would make you click over to Facebook?  Is blistering honesty good? Naked candor? How about unvarnished truth? I guess that's the challenge. But I do know no one reads this.

Thing iis, if stuff doesn't resolve itself at home and I don't find meaningful employment I don't really care to live. I wouldn't kill myself, most likely, but what's the point of hanging around? To watch the gap widen between what Medicare pays for and how much my body deteriorates? To have my wife become even more disinterested in me and watch when my kids leave the nest?

The most overratrd reason for sticking around is the Children. The Precious Children. I flat out love my kids, but you're going to convince me that they'll be worse off than the younger wealthier daddy that my wife will have inlllstalled before the year is out?  I need to do something that makes a difference to me or to someone else and I don't think the computer help desk at DWP is going to cut it.