Sunday, January 18, 2015

Don't Let the Digital Door Hit You

Dear Employer (present or prospective):

Actually, it's kind of creepy if you're reading this.

I mean, you're not my friend.  You're not an admirer.  There's nothing in these pages that you're going to be using as evidence of fine citizenship - I'm only going to be marked down for any perceived negative content - racism, sexism, anarchy, mental imbalance, ties to organized crime.  If you find out that I saved three puppies from drowning, walked around the globe on my one good leg and cured two diseases that had been vexing medical science, what are you going to report back to HR?

"We didn't find anything."

So do me a favor - with all the respect I can muster - please leave.  You have no business here.  You have a legal right to be here but, morally, you're on shifting sand.  You want to know something about me?  Just ask.  Instead of skulking around in electronic closets looking for skeletons.