Tuesday, January 13, 2015

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Fold Like a Cheap Suit


How bad do I feel about myself today? Well, I can't decide if I feel like a LOSER or a FAILURE.

There are things going on at home that I don't care for and I'm back trying, unsuccessfully, to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

But that's not why I'm writing. Today I'm trying to figure out what belongs in a personal essay. What would make you sit on the edge of your seats and what would make you click over to Facebook?  Is blistering honesty good? Naked candor? How about unvarnished truth? I guess that's the challenge. But I do know no one reads this.

Thing iis, if stuff doesn't resolve itself at home and I don't find meaningful employment I don't really care to live. I wouldn't kill myself, most likely, but what's the point of hanging around? To watch the gap widen between what Medicare pays for and how much my body deteriorates? To have my wife become even more disinterested in me and watch when my kids leave the nest?

The most overratrd reason for sticking around is the Children. The Precious Children. I flat out love my kids, but you're going to convince me that they'll be worse off than the younger wealthier daddy that my wife will have inlllstalled before the year is out?  I need to do something that makes a difference to me or to someone else and I don't think the computer help desk at DWP is going to cut it.