Thursday, May 21, 2015

Will Work For Money and Benefits

I got fired from my job last month. I don't want to fire torpedoes on the way out but, well, I don't have a job, or job prospects, we don't have money and I couldn't be much happier to be gone from my last gig. It was a law firm that represents, among other similar clients,  Monsanto, Chevron and Koch Industries. It always made me feel good at night knowing that my fine work may have helped Charles Koch donate another $100 to the Scott Walker campaign. If you don't see anything wrong with that, have I got a dream job for you.

I'm in the lobby of the Department of Social Services.  I'm applying for public assistance.  I don't know if we'll need it and I doubt they'll even give it to me but expect a miracle but prepare for the worst.  There's about a 30 page application; there's at least 2 pages to find out if you're married with children.  Does a child live with you? Who is the mother? Is she a US citizen? Does the mother live with you? Are you 2 married? Is there a 2nd child in the house?  Etc.  There's no really philosophical way to play this off, this is not a great place to be.

I think I have a nicer phone than anyone here.   Quite a feather in my cap.  I've been waiting awhile and I'm running out of battery. I'm not sure how much longer I'll stay if I can't play Candy Crush.

My wife is against this venture. Besides the general humiliation factor, she thinks I could make better use this time to, say, find a job. But I could look for a job on my phone - if I had more battery and I wasn't playing Candy Crush.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Well, that was relatively painless.  I didn't get the impression we're going to qualify  So I guess I better find some work.

Odd bit of business - outside the Social Services there were not one, not two, but three card tables set up giving away phones and selling phone service.  I don't know the scam but I'm thinking - is that really a coup?  Setting up your business outside THE WELFARE OFFICE?

POST SCRIPT

We were denied benefit.  CalFresh is the only place in the world where the amount you collect in Unemployment Benefits is considered too much money.