Thursday, March 28, 2019

I'm so high!

I'm in an airplane! Red eye, bad idea #1. Sitting next to a, uh, large man. Cliche bad thing #1. I really want to sleep, I need to sleep. I'm going to land in Newark at 8:30 and I'll have to drive to Connecticut and if I don't sleep it's going to be bad.

And if I don't fall asleep, and I manage to drive to Connecticut I'll fall asleep at the local Color Me Mine knock-off.

There are 4 of us - my girls and my wife. A trip we planned before. I just don't care anymore.  I really just want to move on. I'm, admittedly, still angry with her. And hurt. But also resigned. What do you do with in laws after you split?

Okay, my airline hunk. You know who I hate? That fucking guy who tried to blow up the plane with his shoes because we've had to take off our shoes for the last 15 years. I get harassed at TSA, as I always "randomly" do. They confiscated my toothpaste because it was "more than 3.4 ounces." They know me. I was going to storm the cockpit and say, "get away from the controls or I'll smear you with Colgate Total. You won't believe how sparkling clean you'll feel."

And have they always made announcements every 3 minutes interrupting every conversation. If they weren't announcing flight it was Mayor garcetti honoring our servicemen.

The little navigation airplane is right over Toledo. I once spent New year's Eve at the Toledo Comedy Club. I just remembered that we sometimes got paid in cash. That we'd go home with a wad of 20s. New Year's Eve was generally weird because we got paid a shit ton of money and the only thing asked of us was not to prevent New year's Eve from happening. I had a string of New year's gigs: San Diego, King of Prussia, Toledo, Anchorage and a cruise ship to the Bahamas.

What struck me was how the audience was in entertainment debt. They were often paying hundreds of dollars and I couldn't entertain them that much. No one could. There was that sad look in their eyes, the recognition that I was not going to be worth $235.

I took my girlfriend on the New year's cruise. We broke up on New year's. With three days left on the cruise. More some other time.

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